It Must Be A Duck

Posted on February 19, 2013. Filed under: Journalism, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

3rd in the series The Manipulators

Your old saw for the day:

  • If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…  it must be a duck

Your words for the day (definitions according to Dean):

  • reporting = observing and retelling an event as factually as possible without inserting personal opinion or conclusions
  • commentary = using an occurrence or news item to showcase personal prejudices, opinions, judgments, et cetera
  • journalism = winging it; making it up as you go; use of facts optional
  • story = that mix of reporting, commentary, and journalism that The Big P pours over our mindsets on a daily basis.  And they call it “news.”

Well, we got your STORY right here:  The Houston Chronicle, January 16, 2013, Section A, page 1, title:  US unmoved by plight of dying daughterAuthor:  Jenny Stonebottom.*  (I made that name up; it might be considered bad form to openly criticize a writer for The Big Pee.)

What Stonebottom shared with us:

The article opens under the topic  I M M I G R A T I O N  on the front page.  A dying illegal immigrant (Mexican) cannot see her parents (in Mexico) because the US government says, “Uh uh!  No way.”  Parents (legally in Mexico) haven’t seen her in 9 years.  She is 20 years old, has a husband but her last name is not his, and she has a daughter about 6 years old from “husband” with a different name; he is also from Mexico, but, is in the US legally with a green card.

The US bureaucratic reasoning for denial is covered in-depth, apparently to illustrate their remorse for being the unfeeling, callous, and unmoved bastards that they are — albeit legal in their obstinate denial of a sanctioned entry.

A local Catholic official chimes in with his 2-bits of criticism:  the bureaucracy is out of touch and US immigration law needs to be overhauled.

When her illegal status was revealed, the sick woman was booted out of one hospital which was named in the article, apparently to instill shame in them for their heartlessness.  She did no better with the backup plan because the freebie government hospital would not do surgery since “the tumor was inoperable.”

The “husband” cannot afford to get her back home before she dies, a Plan B, so to speak, for dealing with cold-hearted bureaucratic obstinacy.  He says he will pay for a post-mortem trip back home.

Stonebottom did give a little bit of fill-in of facts:  Those distraught parents can’t get the furlough because a decade ago they flouted US immigration law and lived in the US illegally until caught and deported.  Even though it has been 9 years since the parents last saw their daughter, they are still being denied one last look.

The tone of the article is clearly designed to (1) wring from the reader empathy for an unfortunate fellow-soul caught in circumstance and bureaucratic coldness, and (2) to give the writer a leg up in the journalistic “we-are-so-much-better-than-that” achievement competition.

I would wager that most readers identified with the empathy angle of Stonebottom’s article.  After all, it was on page one of the local major, so all the facts must have merit.  But, that’s…

…NOT WHAT I READ.  I read about a hotbed of criminal activity being whitewashed by a Pulitzer-seeking graduate of PAU.**   Note the following points:

  • Mom and Dad (in Mexico…   now) have a history of circumventing US immigration law.  That makes them UNDESIRABLE ALIENS.
  • Mom and Dad have not seen their “beloved little girl” in nine years.  The concerned, bereaved parents, then, sent (or left) their 11-year old daughter alone into a foreign land for what purposes, only God knows.  HUMAN TRAFFICKING?
  • That 11-year old girl was transported across the US-Mexico border under dangerous conditions (exposure to elements AND illegal smuggling operations).  Sounds like CHILD ENDANGERMENT.
  • The 20-year old illegal alien has a child, apparently about 6-years old.  That means that someone had sex with her at least once when she was about 13 years old.  No way around this one:  SEXUAL ASSAULT OF A MINOR, which reinforces the HUMAN TRAFFICKING observation.

Clearly, the 20-year old dying woman is a victim of many injustices, but none of them committed by the US bureaucracy or US immigration law, as writer Stonebottom is alluding.  At first glance, one might think she was fortunate to have found someone to look out for her, say…   her “husband” who entered the US legally and has a green card.  She is lucky;  the US is not:

  • Husband who has a different last name and a legal green card is apparently the father of her child.  IF THIS IS SO, he would be the RAPIST who SEXUALLY ASSAULTED A MINOR.  As “husband,” it is likely an ongoing criminal act.
  • Husband who has a legal green card has been HARBORING A FUGITIVE FROM US IMMIGRATION LAW ENFORCEMENT for years.
  • If husband with legal green card was instrumental in TRANSPORTING an ll-year old minor illegally across the US-Mexico border, how many other laws besides CHILD ENDANGERMENT did he violate?
  • Has husband with the legal green card demonstrated RESPECT FOR and COMPLIANCE WITH US laws and customs, which would be a condition of his continued LEGAL residence in the country of the United States of America?  Or is he, like his purported in-laws, an UNDESIRABLE ALIEN who should be deported immediately?

And how ’bout that Catholic Church Official for Migration (not immigration, mind you…   MIGRATION…)?  He unflinchingly casts rocks at US immigration law — and the bureaucrats charged with implementing them — from behind the walls of the institution that has become infamous for shielding pedophiles (a form of CRIMINALITY) from public accountability.  Instead of self-righteously wasting time — time the dying daughter does not have — reviling the United States government and getting his name in the papers, why hasn’t he petitioned his Church (which surely has more money than God) to foot the bill for taking the dying woman back to her parents for her passing?  Caesar gets his due, the God-fearing, hapless 20-year old gets reunited with her parents, and Stonebottom gets her Pulitzer for some other story (or at least a shot at the finals) without irritating the likes of me.  Win-win-win-win, am I right?

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* May I have the envelope, please?  er-r-r-i-i-p…  And the winner for BEST JOURNALISTIC ACHIEVEMENT FOR DECEIVING THE PUBLIC isHARVEY RICE and AURORA LOSADA of The Houston Chronicle, Houston, Texas, for “U.S. not moved by plight of dying daughter,” January 16, 2013, Section A, page 1.  C’mon, give it up, folks —  clap-clap-clap-clap-clap…   (Please, someone get me a bag.)

** Piss Ant University

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Next up:  Stroking the hot buttons of public perception

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Smoke and Mirrors

Posted on February 18, 2013. Filed under: General Interest, Journalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

2nd in the series The Manipulators

Your old saw for the day:

  • What’s good for the goose is good for the gander

Your words for the day (definitions my way):

  • migrate = the tendency of life forms to follow a repeating pattern of movement
  • immigrate = the regulated movement of life forms from one area to another
  • invade = the unregulated movement of life forms from one area to another
  • bias = to display partiality toward one thing over another
  • favoritism = obvious bias
  • The Big Pee = The Press (all news media)

Now, we gotta play catch up.  Last post, I left you skulking at the border trying to catch a break.  To draw a clear parallel between the treatment of US citizen criminals and non-citizen criminals, here is a list of the crimes illegal entrants are willing to commit:

  1. Violate United States immigration law.
  2. Violate United States customs law.
  3. Falsify official identity documents.
  4. Falsify government documents whenever necessary to look legal.
  5. Engage in criminal conspiracies to evade US authorities at the point of entry and in the ongoing tenure of illegal occupancy.
  6. Endanger minors (children) by transporting them through dangerous terrain and situations in this illicit search for a better life.
  7. Criminally trespass onto the private property of bona fide US citizens, using it as though it were theirs, vandalizing and stealing the unattended personal property of the land owner.
  8. Falsify United States federal and state documents to acquire government benefits illegally.
  9. Criminally conspire with friends or relatives to assist in their efforts to evade detection and ejection and to acquire benefits that they are not entitled to have.  Those friends or relatives are co-conspirators in the criminal lifestyle of the illegal entrant, whether US citizen or previous legal immigrant or illegal entrant.

This list is very similar to that for which US citizens get excoriated (previous post).

But, it’s alright, Brazen Criminal.  Your advocate has your back.  The Big Pee will cover (up) your criminal acts as though they are simply incidental occurrences in your quest for a better quality of life.  It will gloss over your persistent, daily acts of criminal conspiracy to defraud the US government, and your criminal falsification of government documents in your quest for a better quality of life (that phrase has a humanitarian and oh-we-do-so-understand-you ring to it).  It will focus on the cruelty “to undocumented immigrants” by human smugglers who pack 30 adults and 10 children into a locked cargo container, but fail to call attention to the illegal 30 adults’ disregard for the safety of children while dragging them across hundreds of miles of dangerous terrain in the presence of dangerous criminals.  It will categorize your tendency to grab 13-year olds for sex (you call it “marriage”) as excusable on the grounds that “it is a custom prevalent where you came from.”

Conversely, The Pee rains vehemence on US citizens for unavoidable child endangerment, marginal statutory rape, shading the truth to get government benefits, alleged sexual assault of a minor, then perfunctorily signs off on the resultant PRISON TERMS for these heinous US citizens…   they had it coming!

Can anyone out there define “double standard?”  If you need refreshment on that, it is a lot like “speaking with fork-ed tongue.”   (Hmmmm…   How about “sleight of tine?”  Sorry.  Just wandering a little.)  Why would The Big Pee practice that?   …just simply playing to the audience (that be us)…   and the panel of judges overseeing the in-house self-lauding Pulitzer committee.  And, let’s not leave out the watchful eyes of judges in a slew of local and national media “ain’t we the living end” contests.  Out here in the land of irrelevance, we all fancy ourselves as possessing moral superiority over our neighbor.  We just have to have a cause to rally around, either mentally or actively.  The Big Pee‘s got causes down to a science.

Do you need an example of my assertions?  No problem.  Let’s look at Jenny Stonebottom’s story (The Houston Chronicle, January 16, 2013) of a callous bureaucracy and a victimized illegal occupant.

Next up:  If it looks like a duck…

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Crime: It’s Just A Word

Posted on February 16, 2013. Filed under: Journalism, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

1st in the series The Manipulators

Your words for the day:

  • citizen = a legal, voting resident of the United States of America
  • non-citizen = not a citizen of the US of A
  • legal = according to law
  • illegal = NOT according to law
  • crime = violation (wittingly or unwittingly) of a law
  • The Big P = The Press (a.k.a., all media involved in the annual Pulitzer contest)

Hack!  Sputter, cough!  Hack, hack…

…stay with me a moment while I clear my craw…

  • Night court.  Traffic Court.  His honor begins his address:  “You are all here because you have committed a crime.”  Hmmm!  One guy got cited for 5-miles over the speed limit, another changed lanes safely without using the turn signal, and that lady over there was flaunting an expired inspection sticker…   you get the drift.  He said other stuff, but that bit about the “criminality” of minor traffic violations has stuck in my craw for a couple of decades.
  • A US CITIZEN single mother, with limited resources and spotty assistance from relatives, attempts to work for money to support her child and herself, can’t find a baby-sitter, so the child is left alone while she works.  She is a criminal (child abandonment, endangerment, etc., whatever the DA can tag her with) and prosecuted.  (Gotta be an item on page 1, section 1.)
  • A US CITIZEN home invader goes through your property collecting whatever he can find to improve the quality of his life.  He gets caught and is treated like a common thief.  (If not a famous invader, Press coverage somewhere in section 1.)
  • She is 17 years and 6 months old.  He is a “mature” US CITIZEN of 20 years age.  They are in love.  If you are really slow on this, he is an adult, she is a minor.  He might catch a break here if the DA is not running for re-election before she turns 18.  Just pray — if you are that “mature” US citizen — that you did not provide alcohol to an under-aged female to disable her resistance.  (Should have gotten press coverage on the first page of section 1.)
  • He is a US CITIZEN accused of sexual assault of a minor, on the run for 6 years.  He is finally apprehended and is treated like a heinous criminal, complete with public humiliation by the Press (with the big pee) and does jail time.  (Not just section 1, but headline ranking.)
  • You are a US CITIZEN, a relative of a legally entitled government benefit recipient.  The recipient dies, you keep on cashing those government checks issued in the name of the no longer responsive legal benefit recipient.  When you get caught for improving the quality of your life, think lawyer and act quickly.  Your federal government will treat you — an unquestioned US CITIZEN — like a common criminal.  (Page 1, or somewhere else in section 1, depending on what is trending.)
  • You are a US CITIZEN and you make false statements on a benefit application to get benefits you are not entitled, under U.S. laws, to receive.  Check with the preceding US citizen.  That one can recommend a good criminal lawyer for you.  (Maybe you’ll make it to section 1.)

We all live in a country with laws; that is true in whatever country on the globe you happen to live.  As a U.S. citizen visiting other countries, you can expect to be treated like a criminal if you are accused of violating local laws.  So, at home or abroad, mess with Zohan*   …uh, laws…   local laws…   your U.S. citizenship is meaningless:  you get treated like a common criminal (actually, that U.S. citizenship abroad probably adds to the severity of your sentencing).

On the flip side, you DON’T live in the United States NOR are you a citizen of said states.  You live in one of several countries south of the United States (or even Europe or Asia).  But, golly, things look pretty good up north (or, over there) in the US of A:  land of plenty, land of opportunities, land of free medical care and even free money.  Sure, they got laws and standards for immigration and the lines are long where people try to comply with U.S. law for entry.  But, you know somebody who knows somebody who can find somebody to show you the way around those checkpoints and such at the border — can you spell c-o-y-o-t-e? 

In the process of realizing your dream of being what and where you are not entitled to be, you are willing to commit crimes against the people of the United States and the government of the United States and any and all of its state governments.

But, not to worry, O Brazen Criminal.  You WILL NOT be treated as a common criminal; that is reserved for the US Citizens whose country, property, houses, and treasuries YOU WILL INVADE AND PLUNDER to improve the quality of YOUR life.

Best of all, O Brazen Criminal, your advocate works pro bono…   if you discount coveting the next Pulitzer award…  pro bono…  it means “free.”  Okay!  Now that is a big smile.

And your advocate-if-it-will-get-me-a-Pulitzer is…

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*Don’t get all bent, Adam.  It’s a free plug for your movie…   which I have not seen.

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Next up:  Meet the #@&#! press…   again.  (I’ll clean that up a little for prime time)

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