The Taming Of The Truth

Posted on June 24, 2012. Filed under: KBR | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

7th in the series The Great Cluster Fu...   A treatise on questionable journalism and pre-litigation practices.

Your words for the day

  • milieu = surrounding environment              
  • WAG = wild ass guess (your acronym for the day)

Two quick notes here:

  1. I really hate to paint the following picture for you, but it has to be done.
  2. I was saving this for toasts in later posts, but, go ahead and get out that bottle of Georgia wine (from the country, not the state) and have that glass handy.  Use as needed like Tums or Alka-Seltzer to settle your stomach.

Okay.  Here we go —

Super Dan standing on the high ground, wide stance, knuckles turned against hips, elbows out, red cape gently billowing in the breeze.  Shoulders back, chin jutted forward in fearless challenge, eyes panning the landscape with a steely gaze (like a photo op for Superman, himself…  ?   Oh, no!  That will never do.  Instead of those blue tights, let’s make that a medium blue 3-piece suit.  If he insists, he can wear red boxers — just not on the outside.)  he assesses the playing field.  To his right, at his feet, an at-the-ready milking stool;  to his left, an upscale leather brief case dubbed “the bag of tricks.”  Ear buds firmly in place, iPod securely clipped to his belt, he listens to a chorus of adding machines singing out a soothing string of numbers punctuated here and there with dollar signs, and, way down there to the right, a decimal point.  Mightily, he wants this to happen.

Meanwhile, back on Earth…

  • His client is an ill soldier (WAG) who, ostensibly, contracted his malady as a result of his duty assignment during US combat operations.  He belongs to the military;  can’t sue them.
  • His client was working in close proximity to civilians on a project ordered by the US military in a war zone.  No money in suing individuals.
  • Those civilians were contracted by a US corporation…   a very large corporation.  It’s just that blasted “acts of war” thing, like garlic to a vampire (a competing blood-sucker) that keeps Danny Boy’s grasping fingers just out of reach.

But, what if…?  If only he could get that corporation relocated to an unprotected non-war zone, there might be possibilities for hooking up the old milk machine.  Bring ’em back to the good ol’ Litigation Nation where the juries really like to see the big ones fall.  Danny Boy perked right up;  the game is afoot!

Danny Boy’s salt shakers trembled with anticipation.  He realized he didn’t really need to relocate the mark corporation.  Consider the old drama class in high school — maybe college.  Like a theater production, the actors hold their places on stage while the stage hands drop a different scene behind them.  The script remains unchanged, but, the new background changes the context of the actions and dialogue.

EXISTING SCENE:  A shooting war in which events are a chess game between opposing military commanders who move their forces (troops, equipment, and civilian personnel) into places and situations based on operational requirements bound to operational time lines NOT predicated on CAREFULLY RESEARCHED SAFETY FACTORS AND ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STUDIES.  These forces report resistance from, and other impediments to, the targeted objectives TO SPECIFIED COMMANDERS (i.e., they follow the chain of command).  In military operations, first ACHIEVE THE OBJECTIVE!  THEN report casualties and other loses.  Such is war.

THE DREAM SCENE:    What war?

Wow!  I repeat, WOW!   Danny Boy has some really big salt shakers.

Next up:  Truth.  Beauty.  Mud.  It’s in the eye

Series references:  KBR, Mary L. Wade, Qarmat Ali, Doyle Raiznor, Ms. Sparky, litigator, sued, cluster, deposition, hexavalent chromium

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No Safety in Numbers: It’s War

Posted on June 20, 2012. Filed under: KBR | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

4th in the series The Great Cluster Fu…   A treatise on questionable journalism and pre-litigation practices.

Your word for the day:   

  • ignore = refuse to notice.

It was while perusing the internet recentlyWait!  That should be “surfin’ the net,” shouldn’t it?  — I ran across one such super litigator who seems to have found himself a big one — a Cape Buffalo — and was angling to bring it home for proper milking.  As his luck would have it, it was standing between some bad publicity brush and a huge government contract tree.  It was trying to shake some unwanted partisan politics off one hoof while batting away the politically inspired bad press buzzing like flies around it.  The litigator must have been stunned silly, and became frantic to climb that money tree and get his.  Big downer, though:  the only way to the money tree was through that Cape Buffalo, which was very healthy, alert, and roaming free in a temporary game preserve.  In that environment, it was a legally protected species.  He knew it was gonna take a lotta work to get that baby to stand still for a little milking.  (Oh, ick!!  See the litigator salivate?)

In deference to his apparent self-image, lets call this dandy litigator Super Dan, an advocate for any reason (even if one has to be made up), but, most especially, for the  M – O – N – E – Y  (that may sound a little like unbridled greed, so let’s call it attorneys’ fees).

Okay, lets peek behind the bovine metaphor.  The cash cow that Super Dan has his eyes on is that global, multi-billion dollar contractor formerly known as Kellogg Brown and RootKBR these days.  He has taken on a client who is not an employee of KBR.  He be a  soldier.  An employee of the US of A.  Who had signed a contract of military service for the US of A.  Who sent the soldier to a war.  The same war in which the US of A contracted the assistance of KBR in refurbishing a defunct water purification plant.  As well as a host of other engineering jobs in that war zone.  Jobs that, to all intents and purposes, made KBR a valuable and functioning part of the US of A war machine.  The preserve that protected KBR from pecuniary liability was the combat theater designated by the US of A.

The  water purification plant at Qarmat Ali belonged (formerly) to one Saddam Hussein, head of state, State of Iraq.  Which Head objected fiercely to having his State invaded for any reason.  Brought out his fighting side.  And all his fighting forces.  But, for all that, he was a bad poker player, and lost the plant in a high stakes game with the US of A.  He wasn’t any better at domestic house-keeping, either, as it turns out, and had left the place in a mess.  He saw no reason to take the time to clean it up for the new owner.

The US of A decided it needed that water plant in operation and plunked hundreds, if not thousands, of civilian support personnel into a hot combat theater.  Forbade them from carrying weapons to defend themselves, but, thoughtfully enough, furnished its armed combat personnel to escort and watch over the unarmed civilian work force while they were outside designated “safe” zones.  Like our salivating litigator above, lets gloss over the fact that a lone mortar shell (or RPG) exploding nearby will take out both the unarmed civilian and the armed, combat-ready soldier.

In a combat zone, everyone is a combatant.  NO ONE is safe.  That is something our drooling litigator has chosen to ignore while looking for a nice “safe” place to set up his milking operation.

Next up:  The truth hurts.

Series references:  KBR, Mary L. Wade, Qarmat Ali, Doyle Raiznor, Ms. Sparky, litigation, sued, cluster, deposition, hexavalent chromium

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It’s Not My Fault!

Posted on June 11, 2012. Filed under: KBR, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

1st of 25 in the series  The Great Cluster Fu…   A treatise on questionable journalism and pre-litigation  practices

Bil Keene’s Family Circus kids, in response to mom’s “Who did this?”  replied, “Not me!”  Mr. Not Me kept out of sight and lived in a sweat because he never knew when he might be fingered as the fall guy for someone else’s pratfall.

Mr. Not Me, you may try to hide, but, invisible or not, you live in the Litigation Nation (a.k.a., the U.S. of A.).  Here, nothing that someone does is ever his own fault or responsibility.  For you, there is a litigation attorney out there right now trying to dig up someone — anyone — with a cock-eyed story fingering you as the patsy who needs to pay for his very own mistake.  Specifics don’t really matter.  These litigators are really good at sleight of words, and, if you were breathing air in the same city at the time of the alleged indignity, your non-involvement can become deep involvement.  You could be sued, so, review everything you’ve done in the past ten years or so.  Be prepared to defend yourself against…   (?) to be announced by the litigator…   accussed possibly by someone you have never heard of.  Don’t think you have all the files from everything you did even 5 years ago?  Tsk!  Too bad, ’cause, believe me, that litigator will seize upon that as “still missing critical documentation”   Doubt your vulnerability?  Check out these unwitting targets.

Our old bud, Mickey D.  Been serving coffee to this little old lady (and a whole nation) for years.  HOT coffee, to be sure.  She wouldn’t have it any other way.  Seventy years she has been working out the principles of gravity and thermodynamics.  She knew that the handles on porcelain tea-  and coffee-cups stayed cool to the touch even though the lip-burning HOT liquid in the cup was…   well…   hot!  She knew that coffee was brewed using HOT water.  She knew that coffee kept its flavor while it was HOT.  She knew when she ordered and accepted it that her coffee was HOT.   She knew she should be careful in handling it, ’cause gravity works 100% of the time, and, that, regardless of circumstances, HOT always travels from a place of higher concentration (that coffee)  to a place of lower concentration (her lap).  Thus, the tendency to corral the stuff behind an insulated barrier from which it can be sipped carefully and safely.  EVERY coffee drinker since the invention of fire knows you got a tiger by the tail and, if you let it go, it gonna bite the livin’ crap outtayuh.

When acquiring all this data on heat hazards, there must have been some practical exercises reinforcing the knowledge.  She must have spilled hot stuff on herself numerous times during that 70-plus years of schooling.  Did she sue her parents for her klutziness when she was a minor?  Or her children when they were adults?  Or her husband when he brewed coffee for breakfast and she spilled the stuff onto her lap?  No!  And why not?  Because, it’s what everyone does from time to time.  That’s life!  They don’t call it the school of hard knocks for nothing.

Yeah, there is another reason.  None of them were loaded with money nor had to drag around a lot of bad press engendered by the nightly news and stoked by an unknown number of litigation attorneys.   They weren’t big business.

Next up:  Brain-dead juries

Series references:  KBR, Mary L. Wade, Qarmat Ali, Doyle Raiznor, Ms. Sparky, litigation, sued, cluster, deposition

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Oh… My… G– (conclusion)

Posted on March 13, 2012. Filed under: General Interest, Humor, Nezza at Hella | Tags: , , , , , , |

DVD update:  The Dean is nursing a hang-over..  no, that’s a hang nail…   bandaged over, caused – he says – by jet lag or the DTs…   oh, I see.  DST.  Any way, he says it wasn’t his fault.  SID and that Smart Dude are piecing things together over Dude’s smart phone since The Dean’s phone is sort of on the fritz.

SID:  Here’s the link that will get you there — nezza@hella Sydney.  That sideways picture that caused the Cap’n to revert to adolescent aggression is on the author’s profile blurb.  But check the post “My ego is bigger than yours.”  That picture…  yeah, that one right there in the blue thingamabob…  even in the dark the Cap’n managed to scroll to that one.  Hmm!  Hmm!  Hmm!  Smart Dude:  What does that mean, “Hmm.  Hmm.  Hmm”?  SID:  “Wow”  Smart Dude:  Heard that.

We will leave them with their fantasies.  But, honest, TheDean01 will resume regular updates soon.  Hmmm!?  I wonder what all that fuss was about?  Let me just take a small peek over Smart Dude’s shoulder, here, and……………….. Oh…   My…   G–

Next up:  Ship’s itinerary – a quick review.

Thanks, again, Nezza.  I hope I have neither offended nor embarrassed you.

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