Sparky Misfires

Posted on July 20, 2012. Filed under: KBR, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

11th in the series The Great Cluster Fu…   A treatise on questionable journalism and pre-litigation practices

Your words for the day:

  • agenda = somebody’s particular motive or bias
  • sleight  = cunning, trickery

When you are rabid about a single agenda, details and facts get overlooked.  I mentioned that Sparky is either illiterate or just doesn’t read what she puts up.  Case in point:  Mary Wade’s title.  It is right there on KBR documents that have gotten the internet spotlight.  Doyle Raiznor cites that title as “Senior Contract Negotiator” while Sparky one-ups him with her “Chief Contract Negotiator.”  Fact is, neither of those is, nor ever was, her title.

Senior Contracts Manager.  Yep!  That’s it.  Printed right there on those older documents from 2003.  That is still her title today.  (Just a heads-up to that dynamic duo, Spark-Igor and Franken-Raiznor:  Your long wait is over…   THE TELEPHONE HAS BEEN INVENTED!  Just in case you are concerned with accuracy…   a.k.a., the truth.)

But, accuracy was never the goal of either Spark-Igor or Franken-Raiznor.  Their goal has been to take the ordinary (KBR) and turn it into a monster-like, ravenous, corrupt thing that lives only to devour class-action hordes of litigation clients.  Effect is what they are after.  Sleight of word — subtle, and not so subtle, shadings of meaning — is the scalpel (or hammer) of choice. 

More from Sparky’s intro page monologue:

(1) “In the ongoing legal battle being waged by several State National Guard Units, (2) this video is pretty typical of what I’ve seen of KBR testimony  (3) about the role they played in exposing US and British soldiers, US and local civilians to deadly hexavalent chromium at Qarmat Ali.”

That’s a complete quote of that sentence.  These are my points:

(1)  Ongoing legal battle.  Let’s see how this “battle” goes:  Farmer Brown, the class-action litigator, takes his milking stool into the lobby of KBR’s legal department.  He presents his list of demands, most notably — in alphabetical order  — cash, dinero, dollars, euros, gold, Hong Kong dollars, lira…  he is not picky.  Other than that, not much else.  In response to KBR’s quizzical look and disbelieving, “Why?” he replied, “I just want some of that money you got.”  He was quickly shown the door.  But, that did not stop him from making several trips back with the same milking stool, same demand and the same result.  Farmer Brown thinks, “This is turning into a real battle.”   (2)  Typical video vs. KBR testimony.  The TESTIMONY of current KBR employees, taken by itself, reveals that all of them did their jobs (the one’s they were hired to do) as straightforwardly as possible.  Since their employment continued at least through the taking of depositions, “exemplary” might be a word used by their supervisors.  The TYPICAL VIDEO Sparky vigorously touts is an after-market, FICTICIOUS offering by Doyle Raiznor that is a blatant effort to rewrite what each has said to accommodate Raiznor’s off-beat strategy — the claim that what actually happened in the combat theater had its roots in Houston, Texas, before the Qarmat Ali cleanup effort.  Hopefully, he could convince enough jurors that an event precipitated by, and occurring in, a hot combat war zone half-way around the world, really took place in the corrupt board rooms of capitalism.  You know, in the US of A.  (3)  The role that KBR played in the exposure to hexavalent chromium.  To borrow Doyle Raiznor’s quote, I really didn’t have to do any research to answer this one:  It wasn’t KBR’s war.  It wasn’t KBR’s real estate.  It wasn’t KBR’s water plant.  It wasn’t KBR’s toxic spill site.  It wasn’t KBR’s initiative to refurbish the ruin.  It wasn’t KBR’s decision to use US and British soldiers to protect civilians doing the reclamation.  It wasn’t KBR’s decision to have the work done down-range from hot combat operations.  So, I would say, just as a matter of idle speculation you understand, THAT KBR PLAYED NO ROLE IN EXPOSING ANYONE TO THE TOXIN.  And, for your blood-thirsty bent, Sparky, I would suggest you pay attention to the real news every now and then.  Maybe you missed it (being so busy with witch-hunting and all) but, the monster that made all of that happen was dug out of a spider-hole and got to be the guest of honor at an old-fashioned neck-tie party.  And you didn’t get prime rights to the video.  Tsk, tsk.

Personally, I think KBR has a good claim against the US of A because it sent in a bunch of whining week-end-warriors apparently not considered good enough for real combat duties:  We’re sorry, KBR, but, our A-Team is out giving Saddam what-for; we don’t want you to hire dedicated mercenaries as guards, so we’ll give you our finest B-Team — The National Lampoon Guard.  Obviously, the joke’s on KBR, but, only Sparky and Doyle are laughing.

Next up:  Manager vs. Negotiator

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The Great Cluster Fu…

Posted on July 9, 2012. Filed under: Journalism, KBR, MIM4.5a, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

9th in the series THE GREAT CLUSTER FUSION.  Shazam! What did you think that title would be?   …Oh!  Yeah.  I can see that, but, I’m trying to maintain a certain level of decorum here.  However, if it pleases you, hold on to your version.  I know I will.

“GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST!  WHAT KIND OF BIZZARO COMIC PRODUCTION IS THIS?”  Our guest analyst, folks.  The irrepressible Perry White of the Daily Planet, a major news player in Metropolis, ….  ???  (Nobody ever mentioned what state, did they??)  Anyway, it’s an unauthorized gig on his part since we didn’t get permission from whoever holds his publicity rights.  But, they’ll get over it.  Just tell their litigators I’m an individual who carries his net worth around in his pocket…   the one without a hole in it, usually… 

… Betcha I become invisible in record time.  It’s not like I’m some multi-billion dollar corporation getting a lot of unjustified and persistent bad publicity, say…   like…   KBR.  Bad publicity and unfounded  accusations either perpetuated by, or generated by, persons and factions with axes to grind…   say, a losing political party trying to get back on track, voters who backed a losing horse and couldn’t get a winning number even after numerous recounts (and the vast majority of them can’t get a winning lottery number in anything else, either), journalists afflicted with Pulitzer fever cashing in on the perceived ambient populace mood, and litigators who aren’t so high-minded — they’re just blatantly going for the gold (ore, not medal).

What turned Editor White apoplectic (I know!  That’s his standard coping mechanism.  Use it myself most of the time.) was the unbelievable cluster fu…  (WAIT!  We decided to go with “fusion” didn’t we?  … Right!) the unbelievable cluster fusion I have been working toward dissecting since I started this blog back in February.  (Yeah, Sparky (TM), I have to admit you have been on my mind a lot.)  When I first saw Sparky(TM)’s display (the so-called “shocking deposition of current and former KBR employees”), I was appalled at such an unethical use (you know, take it out of chambers and turn it into a reputation-smearing campaign way ahead of any court room litigation)  of court-mandated discovery testimony. 

The more I looked at it, the more things just didn’t add up.  The current KBR employees were straightforward, offering testimony that revealed, in essence, only routine and standard business practices and  absolutely nothing derogatory.  The ONLY derogatory “information” came from the voice-over ADDED AFTER THE FACT by that goofy-looking gold prospector, the silent film-era dialogue boards ADDED AFTER THE FACT between obviously edited video segments, and the hear-say “testimony” of two former (and you gotta ask, “Why are they former?”) KBR employees.  Neither of those is-this-my-15-minutes-of-fame? contestants were privy to any of the events they were “rebutting.”  It is as though they were carefully coached by Danny Boy who seems to have provided one of them with the material being testified to.

About then,  my Muse hit me over the head with the biggest clod-hopper boot I’ve ever seen (more later about that).  I said, “Duh?” and she pointed me to the insignia on the toe:  Sparky(TM).  Suddenly, I was hit with an idea (I don’t think my Muse threw another unfortunate steer at me):  This Sparky(TM) display is loaded with everything I hate about the news/information media:  Sensationalism, rumor, inaccuracies, unfounded accusations, reputation smearing, soap opera approach to real life stuff, AND THE UNSPOKEN PERSONAL INSULT THAT I AND THE REST OF THE CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY ARE SO STUPID AND SELF-INDULGENT THAT WE WILL BUY ANYTHING THEY SIMPLY TELL US TO BUY.   So, why don’t I just turn my bad attitude and irritation loose on this crap?  Hmmmmmmmmm!  (That’s a tribute to a police officer with whom I worked for several years.  If he should ever read this, he will know exactly what that means.) 

Next up:  On a roll.  No time to think.  But it’ll be something unkind about Sparky(TM)

Tags:  Mary L. Wade, KBR, Doyle Raizner, Ms. Sparky, Pismires, Qarmat Ali

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