Port Valentine Layover

Posted on February 14, 2012. Filed under: Special-Occasions | Tags: , , , , , , , |

One more day in port.  Sorry!  After-glow from Valentine’s Day causing a fog.  As long as we are here, might as well consider some of the other aspects of Valentine’s Day.  By the way, does anyone know what Saint Valentine did to get a day named after him and icon-ed by 3 gods of erotica?  Did it have anything to do with making women happy?  Do you think Valentine had any idea how hard he made it for the descendants of your Average Joe to carry on a decent Super Bowl/Pro Bowl party with Valentine’s Day looming ahead? ( Those questions are rhetorical;  no response required.)

Yesterday, I alluded to the brutish nature of the Average Joe.  Yes, AJ is capable of deep committment to only 1 chick, but, he is equally capable of attempting to maintain a harem of 2 or more other chicks.  This propensity may be mildly pronounced (carried on only in the mind) or extreme (requires a little black book to keep all the players straight).  Yes, I will concede that women are capable of such duplicity also.  So, If you feel the need, substitute Average Jane (AJ) where you se Average Joe (AJ)…??  …do that in your mind; I got too much going on in mine.

Ahhh, the secret valentine.  So, while pressing all the right buttons for the official valentine, AJ is thinking about someone else.  Might just be mind play.  Might be plans for later.  Such is the nature of humanity.

Open secret valelntine.  Maybe that other valelntine suspects AJ’s interest and even encourages it.  AJ might be a shy sort and doesn’t really have any valentine,  but everyone knows who is on his mind. Makes for a nice human-interest story, don’t you think?

Ultra secret valentine.  A situation where it is in NO ONE’s interest for the details to be known to anyone.  The holder of those feelings is committed to another, the work place forbids such entanglement, or — and, most distressingly, — the object of the affection doesn’t even know the dreamer exists.  Ouch!

Don’t ask, don’t tell, lest you walk forbidden territory.  And, therein lies a tale, and possibly, even explains the need for such as Dr. Ulysses Freud…   not for me!  I’m just…  generally…   suggesting that.

I think that fog is lifting, and, we will be on our way soon.  Nest up:  Who needs a stinking resume, anyway?

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Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 13, 2012. Filed under: Special-Occasions | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Uh-oh!  Here comes a speed boat.  We’re not even out of the harbor, and it looks like the harbor police are hot after us.  No… Wait.  That’s a representative of the Port Valentine Authority.  They say we have to drop  anchor at February Cove, Wharf 14.  It’s mandatory.  (Where are those navigation charts?  It’s diversions like this that really throw us off schedule.  I’ve got a lot of stuff to kick around with you, but, that”ll have to wait till we clear this cove.)

Oh, yeah.  The Annual Memory Test.  Flowers, candy, and greeting cards – that’s the minimal hardware prescribed for your soft ware…  you know, that special spot in your heart that warms up when you think about her.  I am speaking to all you guys out there, because (let’s face it) Valentine’s Day is another one of those “let’s see just how much HE really cares about me” times.  Chances are, you will not forget her birthday, but anniversaries and Valentine’s Day sort of blend into the background like a hunter in a blind.  There is a protocol for this day; she knows it forwards and backwards, and she never forgets the date.  For all you brutish mentalities who think “warm and fuzzy” is best described as a tying touchdown late in the Super Bowl (Yeah!  Sad, but, it’s the majority of guys) you can find those protocols filed under caring, considerate, love, warm and fuzzy, romance, hugs, kisses…  you get the drift.

The archery competition.  If you have a preferred target for the arrows of the Valentine’s love squad (Eros, Amor, Cupid), you can soften her up with any number of tried and true tacts:  a lovely card, a nice restaurant, fresh flowers/corsage, and – most importantly of all – your undivided attention, because THEY DO NOTICE when you look about the room.  There are other choices (jewelry, champagne, etc.), but those are your call.  It depends on how far you want to go with this whole be-my-valentine thing.

Gals, too, express affection at this time, but, they are more selective and focused than your average guy.  They are often homing in on Mr. Right, and they want the entire love squad firing volley after volley into his heart.  Mr. Right will get that affection-laden card hand-delivered with a Mona Lisa smile and love-smitten eyes;  Mr Right will be expected to reciprocate with appropriate gestures of appreciation.  If Mr. Right is one of you guys with a Super Bowl brain, and, you have to look up the word reciprocate, well…   it’s going to be a very long year for you.  Any of you who show up a day late with discount candy and a sad pot plant, you and your next of kin have my condolences.  You will be missed.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

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