The Great Cluster Fu…

Posted on July 9, 2012. Filed under: Journalism, KBR, MIM4.5a, Piss Ants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

9th in the series THE GREAT CLUSTER FUSION.  Shazam! What did you think that title would be?   …Oh!  Yeah.  I can see that, but, I’m trying to maintain a certain level of decorum here.  However, if it pleases you, hold on to your version.  I know I will.

“GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST!  WHAT KIND OF BIZZARO COMIC PRODUCTION IS THIS?”  Our guest analyst, folks.  The irrepressible Perry White of the Daily Planet, a major news player in Metropolis, ….  ???  (Nobody ever mentioned what state, did they??)  Anyway, it’s an unauthorized gig on his part since we didn’t get permission from whoever holds his publicity rights.  But, they’ll get over it.  Just tell their litigators I’m an individual who carries his net worth around in his pocket…   the one without a hole in it, usually… 

… Betcha I become invisible in record time.  It’s not like I’m some multi-billion dollar corporation getting a lot of unjustified and persistent bad publicity, say…   like…   KBR.  Bad publicity and unfounded  accusations either perpetuated by, or generated by, persons and factions with axes to grind…   say, a losing political party trying to get back on track, voters who backed a losing horse and couldn’t get a winning number even after numerous recounts (and the vast majority of them can’t get a winning lottery number in anything else, either), journalists afflicted with Pulitzer fever cashing in on the perceived ambient populace mood, and litigators who aren’t so high-minded — they’re just blatantly going for the gold (ore, not medal).

What turned Editor White apoplectic (I know!  That’s his standard coping mechanism.  Use it myself most of the time.) was the unbelievable cluster fu…  (WAIT!  We decided to go with “fusion” didn’t we?  … Right!) the unbelievable cluster fusion I have been working toward dissecting since I started this blog back in February.  (Yeah, Sparky (TM), I have to admit you have been on my mind a lot.)  When I first saw Sparky(TM)’s display (the so-called “shocking deposition of current and former KBR employees”), I was appalled at such an unethical use (you know, take it out of chambers and turn it into a reputation-smearing campaign way ahead of any court room litigation)  of court-mandated discovery testimony. 

The more I looked at it, the more things just didn’t add up.  The current KBR employees were straightforward, offering testimony that revealed, in essence, only routine and standard business practices and  absolutely nothing derogatory.  The ONLY derogatory “information” came from the voice-over ADDED AFTER THE FACT by that goofy-looking gold prospector, the silent film-era dialogue boards ADDED AFTER THE FACT between obviously edited video segments, and the hear-say “testimony” of two former (and you gotta ask, “Why are they former?”) KBR employees.  Neither of those is-this-my-15-minutes-of-fame? contestants were privy to any of the events they were “rebutting.”  It is as though they were carefully coached by Danny Boy who seems to have provided one of them with the material being testified to.

About then,  my Muse hit me over the head with the biggest clod-hopper boot I’ve ever seen (more later about that).  I said, “Duh?” and she pointed me to the insignia on the toe:  Sparky(TM).  Suddenly, I was hit with an idea (I don’t think my Muse threw another unfortunate steer at me):  This Sparky(TM) display is loaded with everything I hate about the news/information media:  Sensationalism, rumor, inaccuracies, unfounded accusations, reputation smearing, soap opera approach to real life stuff, AND THE UNSPOKEN PERSONAL INSULT THAT I AND THE REST OF THE CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY ARE SO STUPID AND SELF-INDULGENT THAT WE WILL BUY ANYTHING THEY SIMPLY TELL US TO BUY.   So, why don’t I just turn my bad attitude and irritation loose on this crap?  Hmmmmmmmmm!  (That’s a tribute to a police officer with whom I worked for several years.  If he should ever read this, he will know exactly what that means.) 

Next up:  On a roll.  No time to think.  But it’ll be something unkind about Sparky(TM)

Tags:  Mary L. Wade, KBR, Doyle Raizner, Ms. Sparky, Pismires, Qarmat Ali

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